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, by Alain de Botton

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Product details
File Size: 15176 KB
Print Length: 320 pages
Publisher: Vintage; Reprint edition (December 10, 2008)
Publication Date: December 10, 2008
Language: English
ASIN: B001NJUPD4
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Love Alain de Bottom. Recommend all his books. This one is de Bottom's meditation on status, and why we are all consumed by what we 'do" and how ultimately this obsession has a deleterious effect on our mental health. He analyses different realms in society (art, philosophy, bohemia) that influence the modern person's interest in his or her status in society, and helps the reader see that the idea of status as good and easily attainable (with hard work and bursts of inspiration) is a historical construct not a naturally existing 'thing' which exists independently of us and which we did not have a hand in shaping (eg: in caveman times, we were not concerned with status in the same way). In other words, status anxiety is not inevitable but is rather the product of social forces.
De Botton is clearly a talented writer and philosopher but in this book he fails to capture my attention. This book read like something a sociology professor would assign to his students, there was so much to unpack that at times it felt like very little was really being said even though the language was very colorful. He seems like someone who understands a lot about different philosophical and sociological themes and theories but the real world application eludes him. Towards the end the entire section devoted to the Boheme way of life felt extremely out of touch. Does not provide unique solutions to the issue of status anxiety, but if you would like to practice SAT level vocabulary comprehension, this is a good book for it. This doesn't really qualify as self-help although it is being billed this way, so from a practical standpoint if that's what you're looking for, this is not the book for you.
I wish I had discovered Alain de Botton sooner, but better late than never. His erudition is remarkable, his perception is acute, and his writing is marvelously phenomenologically rich yet lucid. Best of all, in this book he tackles a fundamentally important topic, namely our need for social status and our anxiety over our status falling short.This is a book which must be read attentively in its entirety, and I indeed found it hard to put down, but perhaps I can still highlight some key points to give a feel for the subject matter:- Because we judge ourselves according to how others judge us, one of our basic needs is the love of the world. This is despite the fact that the judgments of others are frequently shallow and misguided, and the criteria for judgment have varied across cultures and history.- We take our social status as an indicator of how much we're loved, or can expect to be loved, by others.- We determine our status by comparison with a reference group of other people, not in absolute terms. That means that progress of our reference group doesn't necessarily improve our individual status, and may even diminish it.- Unlike the days when status was largely inherited, the meritocratic notion that anyone can achieve anything, and the related assumption of social mobility, gives hope to those who wish to rise in status, but it also results in self-blame when we fail. This is despite the fact that achievement is greatly influenced by factors outside our control (ie, luck).- Our self-esteem is also affected by our achievement relative to our own expectations. This implies that, if we can't achieve more, it may make sense to lower our expectations (however outlandish that may sound). Likewise, if we're inspired by the success stories of others, but we fail, those stories may worsen our self-esteem. And of course the mass media exacerbates these problems by constantly encouraging us to "aim high" and throwing rags-to-riches success stories in our faces.- The poor were once honored as an integral and productive part of society, or at least they weren't viewed negatively. This changed with the rise of meritocracy, with material wealth becoming the primary measure of merit/status, and with the poor thus being considered deserving of low status and snobbish derision. Social Darwinism took this attitude further with the view that the poor deserve to be weeded out of society.- We're often uncertain or mistaken about what will make us happy. For example, the pleasure provided by material acquisitions is usually fleeting, whereas we expected it to be sustained or even permanent. Likewise, in envisioning careers, we often make the mistake of focusing on the positives while downplaying the negatives.- We can at least partly control status anxiety by learning to become our own judges, being attentive to how art subverts prevailing status norms, seeing our fallible shared humanity through art which depicts tragedy, using comedy to underminine pretensions, remaining aware of our individual and collective mortality, focusing on collective rather than individual success, and orienting ourselves towards nonmaterialistic values which lead to richer and more balanced lives. These are generally difficult things to do, and only partly effective even in combination, but better to make the effort rather than just muddle along with the herd.I very highly recommend this book, especially to people who detect a tradeoff in their lives between seeking/maintaining status versus being generally fulfilled, and are troubled by that predicament. This book provides an elegantly multifaceted exploration of this terrain, and it's especially rewarding to readers who are themselves erudite enough to be familiar with the diverse spectrum of examples from social and intellectual history which de Botton references. As some reviewers have noted, de Botton could have expanded the book, such as by drawing more on non-Western perspectives, but it makes more sense to attend to what the book offers rather than lament about what it leaves out -- and it offers plenty.
De Bottom writes, "like Jane Austen and George Eliot, the great artists of everyday life may help us to correct many of our snobbish preconceptions regarding what there is to esteem and honor in the world ". He brings to the reader an in depth examination concerning one's values. Often we follow the lead about what we should pursue and yet fail to question whether what we pursue is an important priority. De Bottom does an excellent job with an in depth analysis of the relationship between wealth and happiness. You will discover why and in which ways status anxiety breeds envy and envy breeds greed. What we "love" tells us who we are! "Tell me what a man loves," Augustine wrote in the 4th century, "And I'll tell you what a man is". To escape the status community of Rome, he had to create, a "City of God", to find his place in it. De Botton's book, "Status Anxiety", is a modern day approach to what has become an obsession, "keeping up with the Jones". Moral confusion and materialism are two different sides of the same coin and we only learn to reorient ourselves as we mature. Maturity requires self-reflection and reading "Status Anxiety" is a fine example of what needs to be done to re-set our moral compass. Putting our wants, needs, desires, into a balanced perspective is difficult for many of us who identify what we have with "who" we are. Examining our lives means reviewing the context in which our lives take place. De Botton tells us that art's primary function is to clear human confusion. In the 1800's authors like Eliot, Austin, James, Balzac, provided characters and situations articulating what the content of status anxiety was all about. "Status Anxiety" will open your eyes in a new and enchanting way. Written with style and intelligence, this book is an easy and worthwhile read. You do not need a background in psychology, sociology, philosophy, or religion. All you need is a little time and mental space to absorb its' profound and compelling message. For example, when De Botton writes, "Standing witness to hidden lives, novels may act as conceptual counterweights to dominant hierarchical realities. They can reveal that the maid now busying herself with lunch is a creature of rare sensitivity and moral greatness, while the baron who laughs raucously and owns a silver mine has a heart both withered and acrid" (p.131 ). Here De Botton sites one of my favorite novels, Middlemarch", by George Eliot. If you enjoy fiction that is timeless, you probably will enjoy what these authors have to teach us.
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