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, by Sheila Wray Gregoire
Download Ebook , by Sheila Wray Gregoire
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Product details
File Size: 6003 KB
Print Length: 272 pages
Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0310334098
Simultaneous Device Usage: Up to 5 simultaneous devices, per publisher limits
Publisher: Zondervan (March 6, 2012)
Publication Date: February 28, 2012
Sold by: HarperCollins Publishing
Language: English
ASIN: B005PMZMSI
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#42,312 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
This is a great, Christian-based book that I think all wives-to-be should read. It does have quite a few graphic parts, so I dont think it would be very useful to a virgin who plans to stay that way with no plans to marry. This book is definitely more geared towards new wives, but also has many useful parts for those of us who have been married for years. It has sections on getting ready for marriage, the actual details of what sex entails, and many chapters on not only continuing a healthy sexual relationship through marriage but also a healthy spiritual and emotional relationship through marriage. It also has little dares to perform with your husband that are quite fun to read.This book is quite refreshing in how it points out that there is no need to be embarrassed about sex in marriage, as that is what it is created for! It talks about how to transition from a 'want to be a virgin, sex is bad right now' state of mind to a 'married, sex is great, want to enjoy it' state of mind.This book tries to include everyone who wants a healthy sexual relationship, but it is geared towards Christians and is unashamed of its stance that sex if for marriage only. Those who think that is impractical or stupid would not appreciate this book. It does address (many times) those who have had premarital sex, but are now trying to live pure. If you NOW have that conviction I think this book is very useful, even if you didnt always have this conviction.I was slightly put off by her referring to the reader as a 'good girl' constantly. I thought it was just the title, but it is used throughout the book. Such a tiny little thing, but worth mentioning.In reference to the reviews that say the writer thinks woman need to cater to their husbands, ect, ect, this could not be further from the truth. She does make a point to say we need to be sure we are not causing friction in the marriage and we need to be sure that we are making ourselves available...but she states many, many times how it is a 2-way street and how his reactions are his responsibility. I am very sensitive to female writers who teach being a doormat to please a man (lets be real, many 'Christian' books are like that). This book is not like that.I found it quite interesting to read. I didnt learn anything new per se, but it did reiterate some things I feel and did leave me with a feeling of freshness in my marriage.
My husband and I, along with our pastor and his wife and another long-married couple in our church, do a yearly group with engaged couples, to discuss issues they will encounter in their first year of marriage. I read this book to see if it would be a good one to give to all the girls who go through our “marriage prep†group, and was super happy to see so much helpful stuff in one place. I will definitely be handing it out to the girls!! However, not without some comments and probably some parts blacked out. Here are a few concerns:I HATE THE TITLE. The concept of good girls vs. bad girls is so wrong. I understand how the author is using those terms, but I just feel like it’s an unfortunate choice, and not nearly as powerful as what I think the real concept is: counter-culture sex. We need to reform and recapture sex as something that God made to be an expression of love and unity, and a picture of Christ and the Church. This is for all those strong women who want God’s best for their marriage and family, including sex. It contains lots of wisdom for helping us navigate the errors of our culture and some common errors found in Christian sub-culture, and “good girl/bad girl†just doesn’t do that concept justice.Then there are the “Good Girl Dares.†I put black tape over most of these. It’s not that I object to anything they suggest (nothing suggested is “dirty†or wrong) – it’s the fact of suggesting that I object to. Here are three reasons why, written to an engaged girl:The first is just the fun that you would miss out on of coming up with these things on your own. Some of them you will think of within your first year. Others maybe not ‘til your tenth. Still others, maybe never, but then – what will you really be missing, if you’re satisfied with your relationship 25 years from now, and are still growing in love for each other? So take the time to come up with your own little games, flirts, special sex treats – you don’t need a cleaned-up version of Cosmopolitan magazine.Second, there is the danger of a sensitive woman, eager to please her man, feeling pressure that she has to be willing to do all these things in order to be a good lover. And thinking that if she doesn’t feel comfortable with one or more of them there’s something wrong with her or she’s a prude. Remember that this author has nearly twenty five years of learning and getting more comfortable with her husband. Why shouldn’t you have the chance to learn over time and at a pace that suits you, too?Third, any young husband who reads these suggestions will likely want to try every one of them. This week. There could be the temptation for a man to feel discontented if his sex relationship isn’t there yet, or if his wife isn’t ready for something that sounds quite good to him. Which will only make his wife feel more pressure, and PRESSURE IS THE ENEMY OF GOOD SEX.If you ever find yourself in the position of wanting some suggestions for spicing up your love life, first ask your husband. In fact, I can't emphasize enough - START TALKING FROM DAY ONE about what you and he each want, what feels good, what you might like but aren’t sure (and feel free to change your mind!) If you ever feel like you need more ideas, order an unaltered copy of the book. My guess is that, with lots of time and trust and learning to be more vulnerable with each other, a book of ideas won’t be necessary. But some people do find them helpful, and this one is certainly better than Sheet Music (a popular Christian book that is chock-full of tons of pressure, I mean suggestions from an old pro) or Cosmo.The last change I’ve made is to add underlines and notes. I found this book to be a real gift to women – very straight-forward and open. Much of what we try to tell girls in marriage prep is here, where they can read it in private. However, the author is not as careful to balance some of her statements as I would like her to be, especially for that sensitive, eager-to-please woman I mentioned earlier. That woman sometimes needs to have the pressure taken off preemptively. So I make some balancing notes in addition to underlining some things I think are excellent and helpful.Overall, this is a winner. But I feel like it needs a bit of an overhaul – get rid of the title (and its repetition of the good/bad girl theme throughout the book) and the “dares,†and it would be 75% better.
OMG! I would recommend this book to any girl getting married or to young married couples- even to couples who have been married a while! I read this book right before I got married, being I was a virgin and marriage would be all new territory for me, and it helped answer so many questions in a modest, biblical way, yet showed you ways that you could have fun in the bedroom and not feel guilty about it. It helped me realize that sex in marriage is amazing and wonderful and beautiful. I will definitely be buying this book over and over to give to my friends before they get married.
As the wife of a youth pastor as at a local community church, my husband and I regularly facilitate pre-marital counseling together for young couples whom he's officiating for. I found this book when doing some research, so that I could provide better answers for the brides I have a "talk" with. I wish I found this book years ago. It would have helped me answer girls questions better as well as given them a good resource to get their questions answered. Even though I've been married almost 13 years, I still enjoyed the book and found it encouraging for my marriage in general. Its a Christian book, with a solid Christian view of marriage, but she definitely has a "free in Christ" position on sex, which may make some of her suggestions shocking to conservatives. She also covers all kinds of issues/challenges, emotions, medical questions, and surveys from people of what's normal, understanding men, what scripture says, etc. I would highly recommend it to anyone who is getting married, just got married, is struggling in this area, or just wants some encouragement in this area of their marriage.http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0310334098?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00
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